Recounting times when I held onto grief and stress until my body became so ill that I cried out for physical as well as spiritual and mental salvation and restoration.

Your everlasting kindness
is a feast of unbearable hope

I could not fathom the holy day of reckoning
The breath of beckoning
The parade of hearts rejoicing
In a choir of saints
At the foot of your throne singing.

Hallelujah and Hallelujah

You provided a Lamb of Hope
and sealed His name to my lips
He was your promise of our
Resurrecting.

Amen and amen

I still feared my imperfections.
I still recounted my own failures.
I still wished I was someone worthy.

Again and again

I had lost my way to You,
I could not pray for more.
I could not fix me once more.

Lost and broken
Broken again

Yet I could feel your heart
Your heartbeat
a pulse of promises—
you were so near to me
O Father

My fevered brow cooled
by your sweet scent
You stood so close
so close to me
Yet I could not see you
You held me

If only I had lifted up my eyes
to You
If then you rescued me before the damage
set in
What was hated in myself .
I would have sought your
forgiveness.
Yet I squandered there, forgotten and alone.
I resisted.

Alone and in pain.

I could not get up again.
At that darkest hour, in my deepest hell, I cried out to you—
Jesus save me. Save my life
Again.
Restore unto me.
The Hope of your salvation.
Again.

Your sweet and calming presence filled my empty, worn down heart,
and sustained my starved soul,
You reshaped my only dreadful reality
And wrote back what You know is true.
My broken prayer and repentance
you heard. You broke my binds and set me free.

Thank you. Thank you.

And each time You reminded me that
It was not by might.
It was not by power
But it was by your Spirit
O Lord.

It was not by my might
It was not by my power
But it was by your Spirit
O Father.

Your everlasting kindness is a feast of unbearable hope