When you think about being curious, what comes to mind? Cats? Kids? George? All joking aside, curiosity is a trait that we don’t often put a lot of thought into, especially as adults. While some people are naturally more inquisitive than others, striving to be more curious is not as common as say, working on being more punctual or organized. That’s why you might be surprised to learn that curiosity can improve your marriage. Keep reading to find out how.
- It helps you resolve conflict.
When you’re working through an issue, making assumptions about your partner’s behavior and intentions adds fuel to the fire. It easily comes across as judgmental, which can set off a cycle of defensiveness – not ideal for a productive discussion. Leaning into curiosity is a great way to avoid jumping to unfair conclusions. For example, instead of saying, “You’ve been distracted all week. It’s like you’re not even trying to be present,” you might lead with, “I noticed you’ve been really distracted this week. Is there anything going on?” Keep in mind, your tone and nonverbal cues need to align with a genuine sense of curiosity. A warm and caring delivery is much more likely to elicit a vulnerable and honest response from your spouse. In turn, you’re more likely to have a meaningful conversation instead of getting sucked into an unproductive argument.
- It helps you keep learning about each other.
In a long-term relationship, you might get to a certain point and feel as if you know everything about your partner. However, as individuals, you’ll both change over time. A sense of curiosity helps you keep getting to know all aspects of each other, whether you’ve been together for three years or thirty. You gain insight and learn more about who they currently are instead of who they used to be or who you assume them to be. Ultimately, this helps you stay connected as you both grow in your own ways.
- It helps you understand each other’s perspective.
When you disagree on something, working to understand where the other person is coming from helps broaden and enrich your own point of view. Leading with curiosity helps you do that. Similar to working through conflict, focusing on being curious is a foil to being dismissive or narrow-minded. Instead of focusing on changing each other’s mind, curiosity helps you listen to understand instead of planning your next persuasive point.
- It helps you have great conversations.
Podcasts are all the rage right now. At the core of a good podcast is an inquisitive host who asks questions that elicit thoughtful answers and spurs compelling conversation. Curiosity can do the same for you and your spouse! Sure, there can be a sense of comfort and security in being able to sit in silence together, but that can’t be all the time. Engaging in conversation, whether they’re lighthearted and fun, deep and meaningful, or fiery and passionate, is one major way that you’ll stay connected to each other over the course of time.
- It helps you gain more insight and self-awareness.
In the midst of those great conversations, your partner is probably asking you questions that get you thinking and reflecting on your own feelings and behaviors. Their curiosity can lead you to learning more about yourself in ways you might not have otherwise. When you start thinking about things through a lens other than your own, you have the opportunity to unlock new insights and levels of understanding about yourself, as well as how you show up in your marriage. And when you’re both able to gain more self-awareness in this way, it helps you grow in your relationship together, too. Curiosity has the power to transform crucial areas of your marriage – from how you handle disagreements to how you relate to each other on a daily basis. With it, you can gain a better understanding of your spouse and yourself. How do you incorporate curiosity into your relationship? https://www.prepare-enrich.com/blog/5-ways-curiosity-improves-your-marriage/