There\u2019s something to be said for being comfortable enough with your spouse that you don\u2019t mind sitting in companionable silence. It doesn\u2019t feel awkward. Neither of you feels obligated to fill the space. You\u2019re content just being together.<\/p>\n
On the flip side, your spouse is also the person with whom you talk to the most. You enjoy both serious and silly conversations about everything under the sun\u2026 or at least you used to. Lately, it seems like your exchanges have become more mundane than meaningful, more stale than stimulating. If this sounds like you, you\u2019re not alone. Over time, as you settle into the routines and obligations of daily life, the quality of your conversations can take a hit. While this isn\u2019t a problem on occasion, it can gradually have a negative effect on how connected you feel to each other. The good news is you can avoid this path! Let\u2019s explore 8 tips to revitalize your conversations.<\/p>\n
Sharing new experiences gets the endorphins flowing \u2013 as well as the conversation. Whether it\u2019s sharing your opinions on a new restaurant or sharing laughs over your beginners\u2019 attempts at ballroom dancing, venturing outside the familiar presents opportunities to discuss new things.<\/p>\n
It could be our\u00a0Discussion Guide for Couples<\/em><\/a>, which covers 14 topics, including conflict, expectations, personality, commitment, and so much more. Each section contains contextual insights, conversation starters, and practical steps to apply in your relationship right away. Of course, there are many other great resources out there that can provide you with the level of structure\/prompting you\u2019re looking for. Try one out on your next date night!<\/p>\n If you have kids, it becomes second nature to talk about them all the time. If you want to stretch your conversational muscles further, make a rule that you can\u2019t talk about the kids for a certain amount of time. It might be harder than you think, but in turn it\u2019ll hopefully get you digging deeper into your conversation arsenal and talking about things that normally wouldn\u2019t come up.<\/p>\n Read the same book or find a new TV series to get into together. Set aside time to discuss your thoughts after each chapter or episode. Content that is marriage or relationship-related can also be a great way to ease into conversations about your own relationship.<\/p>\n Sometimes there\u2019s a deeper reason why the conversation has stalled\u2026 and it might come in the form of an unaddressed issue that needs to be resolved. You might both be harboring emotions that make it hard to feel at ease with each other, and that\u2019s going to impede authentic discussion. Don\u2019t let this go on too long! It can be uncomfortable dealing with issues head on, but your relationship will thank you in the long run.<\/p>\n Learning together \u2013 whether it\u2019s via an educational podcast or documentary, or diving into an internet rabbit hole on a niche subject \u2013 can cultivate stimulating dialogue as you share your thoughts, reactions, and opinions on the topic. You might even learn something new about each other in the process!<\/p>\n One of the biggest barriers to good conversation with your spouse is the constant presence of phones and devices.\u00a0Scrolling<\/a>\u00a0steals away precious time that you could be conversing and connecting. Luckily, this problem is easy to solve. Put the phones away for few hours each day and focus on talking to each other instead.<\/p>\n Depending on your personality, job, the type of day you\u2019ve had, etc., you might be running on empty when the opportunity for conversation with your spouse rolls around. Get to know when you\u2019re in need of a recharge and\u00a0what you need<\/a>\u00a0to do that, whether it\u2019s 20 minutes alone or just some low-effort small talk to decompress. Communicate with each other about your energy and capacity for conversation, especially if it\u2019s low. It\u2019s normal to be burnt out on occasion, but if it\u2019s happening consistently, you might consider what other adjustments you can make.<\/p>\n Not every conversation you have with your spouse is going to be earth-shatteringly significant or meaningful. That being said, if all you ever talk about are surface level or logistical things, you\u2019re going to have trouble maintaining intimacy and connection over the course of your marriage. Hopefully these tips can help you keep your conversational spark alive.<\/p>\n\n
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