is only as good as the investment people make in it, and just like
other elements of our life, this bond between two people was
constructed so that we are either going forward into the growth
process or backing away from it. We can’t stay the same, and marriage
reflects that reality. The connection either deepens, opening both
spouses up to the hearts of each other, or it starts to deteriorate,
closing them off from each other.
Problems aren’t something that just occur “out of the blue.” So many
times a spouse will say, “Everything was fine until I found out he
was abusive,” or, “I thought we were ok until I found out about the
affair.” This would not be possible if the marriage was a place for
continual emotional investment, risk, vulnerability and honesty. And
in hindsight, many couples will say, “We now see the signs we missed
before,” and they usually have to do with things, such as:
- Increasing withdraw of need
- Unresolved differences the couple simply
walks away from in resignation.
- Preferences for others for needs that the
marriage used to meet
- Interests and relationships that are not
talked about with the spouse.
is an investment, and for an investment to work for you, it takes an
ongoing commitment to nurturing its growth. Watch this.
Until tomorrow …