Intense Marriage, Intense Kids: How to Cope

Statement of Faith

We believe that God created man and that He created them male and female. As such He created them different so as to complement and complete each other. God instituted monogamous marriage between male and female as the foundation of the family and the basic structure of human society. Therefore, we perform and mentor marriages in accordance with Biblical guidelines. (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:4-6; John 4:16-18; Romans 1:18-32; 1 Corinthians 5:11, 6:9-11. 6:18-20, 7:1-3 and 7:8-9; Galatians 5:19-21; Ephesians 5:3-7; 1 Timothy 1:9-11)

                                                                  By Drs. Les and Leslie ParrottJune 15, 2016

Children are always a blessing. But children bring a tremendous
change to your home and your relationship as you previously knew it. And if
your kids have intense, spirited, strong personalities, the changes to your
world are even more pronounced! If one of your personalities is also intense
(or both!), this makes life all the more interesting.

Today, we’re sharing a few tips on how to cope with intensity in
your home.


We cannot emphasize enough how important it is to keep your stress
levels as low as possible. Intensity in your marriage or family could increase
any life or work stress that is already present, creating a pile-on effect…in
other words, not the best recipe for a peaceful home.

Start by working with your spouse to identify ways the two of you
can reduce your own stress load. This might involve cutting back on activities,
hiring some extra help around the house, or saying “no” more often to
obligations that make you feel overloaded. Then, consider whether your kids
need additional help in this area.

If Mom and Dad can keep their stress and intensity dialed down,
this will have a positive impact on the kids. Win-win!


Laughter is definitely the best medicine, and it soothes all
manner of ills. Take time with your spouse to have fun, and laugh on purpose.
Be silly with each other and with your kids, and make life as happy and
lighthearted as possible. Focusing on negativity and anxiety will only serve to
amplify the intensity you’re attempting to calm.

Use humor to diffuse intense situations and emotions, particularly
when your kids are having a meltdown or a hard day. When it comes to dealing
with hard adult issues, agree with your spouse to try to keep things as light
as you can.

Sometimes the only way to keep from crying is to find something to
laugh about. If you’re feeling the pressure of an intense marriage or parenting
kids with intense personalities, this is definitely true.


It’s all about perspective. Remember, your kids won’t be little
for very long, and before you know it, you and your spouse will be empty-nesters.
That may not be easy to picture now, but time passes by more quickly than most
of us realize.

Take the time and effort to help your kids learn to manage their
intense feelings throughout their lives, and they’ll be able to manage them
when they’re grown. Work to manage your own, and you’ll be better equipped to
help your kids!

Intensity in your home might be overwhelming at times, but you
have what it takes to cope and create a healthy, peaceful, thriving family
life. Keep your stress as low as possible, remember to use humor, and keep in
mind that this is just for a season; it won’t be like this for long!