Giving back better than what you received…

Statement of Faith

We believe that God created man and that He created them male and female. As such He created them different so as to complement and complete each other. God instituted monogamous marriage between male and female as the foundation of the family and the basic structure of human society. Therefore, we perform and mentor marriages in accordance with Biblical guidelines. (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:4-6; John 4:16-18; Romans 1:18-32; 1 Corinthians 5:11, 6:9-11. 6:18-20, 7:1-3 and 7:8-9; Galatians 5:19-21; Ephesians 5:3-7; 1 Timothy 1:9-11)

Hi everyone,

The biggest objection that people have to giving back better than what
they’ve received is their fear of becoming a doormat. They think that
such a response is bound to result in allowing people to “get away with
murder.” But nothing could be further from the truth. The power of the
principle is that it will improve the relationship for both parties,
not just for the offending one. I will explain.

The mature person in the relationship will ask, “How can I turn this
around?”

It is true that sometimes one must set limits and impose consequences.
For example, if one partner in a marriage is being hurtful, it’s not
helpful just to take it. It would be more helpful to consider one of
the following responses: 

  • I love you, and I want
    what is best for you. I want you to face this problem and get over
    it. I will get help with you or do anything I can. But I won’t
    allow this kind of hurt and destruction to continue with me. We
    cannot be together until you decide to do something about
    it. 
  • I love you, and I want
    the best for use. But I can’t talk to you without it turning into
    a fight. I want to be able to do that, but until we can do it, I
    want us to discuss the issue with a counselor. 
  • It seems that this
    pattern of behavior we have talked about is not getting better.
    Can you see that? How can I help?

Let’s talk more about how consequences help our relationships.

Until next time …

Cheers,

Henry 

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