Frazzled Mom, Exhausted Wife: What to Do When Everyone NEEDS You

Statement of Faith

We believe that God created man and that He created them male and female. As such He created them different so as to complement and complete each other. God instituted monogamous marriage between male and female as the foundation of the family and the basic structure of human society. Therefore, we perform and mentor marriages in accordance with Biblical guidelines. (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:4-6; John 4:16-18; Romans 1:18-32; 1 Corinthians 5:11, 6:9-11. 6:18-20, 7:1-3 and 7:8-9; Galatians 5:19-21; Ephesians 5:3-7; 1 Timothy 1:9-11)

By Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott
July 20, 2016

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Being a wife and a mom is one of life’s greatest joys.
Partnering with your husband to raise a family is an incredibly rewarding and
fulfilling role; however, it’s challenging all at the same time. The role
of a wife and mom is not only a huge blessing, but a huge responsibility–and it
can leave you completely WORN OUT.

The kids have fifteen different places they need to be
and, on top of all that, they have a mile-long list of school supplies waiting
to be purchased and thrown into their backpacks. Your husband’s working late,
and needs you to set up and prepare for your small group to come over, and the
babysitter just called and canceled for the second time this month.

So what do you do when it’s all just too much? What do you
do when everyone needs something from you, and it feels like everyone forgot
you’re only one person?

Here are few things to remember:

Focus On
Gratitude

There was a time in your life when you were longing for
this. You anxiously awaited the moment you would walk down the aisle to say, “I
do,” to your husband. Your heart leapt for joy when you found out you were
pregnant, and for nine months you dreamed of holding that sweet baby. Take your
mind back to those moments.

Remember, it’s all a gift. Sure, your child may be
screaming in your face, but soon they’ll sleep, and you’ll catch yourself
staring at their peaceful little faces and wonder where the time has gone. A
mindset of gratitude and joy will not only give you a calm demeanor; it will
overflow and impact your family as well.

Build in Time
and Space for Yourself

In all of your planning and coordinating, don’t forget to
schedule some time for yourself. Maybe this season of life doesn’t allow much
time for you to sneak away for an afternoon alone, but look for a window of
time in your week where you can sit on your porch with a cup of coffee or spend
a few minutes reading a book. The mental break will rejuvenate and refresh your
spirit and offer you the chance to breathe for a minute.

Ask for Help

No one’s asking you to be Superwoman.

There are a lot of requests coming your way and a lot of
things on your plate. Don’t be scared to call in back-up. Maybe you need to ask
a friend to watch your children one afternoon so you can get a few things done
around the house. Maybe you need to call a family member and ask for some
advice. Your closest friends and family have your best interests at heart, and
they want what’s best for you.

Ask for help. Don’t be afraid to say “no” to things. Share
responsibilities with your husband. We’ve all heard the common phrase, “It
takes a village to raise a child.” That statement resonates with us because we
know it’s true. You don’t have to do it all alone.

Give Yourself a
Break

There are a lot of rabbit trails of doubt, worry, and
self-consciousness you can go down when you are overwhelmed and tired. One
major thing that can fuel the fire of exhaustion and stress is the internet.
While we have every resource, piece of advice, and article imaginable at our
fingertips, we also are bombarded with pictures, posts, updates, and requests
through social media. What can start as a quick “Facebook break” turns into an
unexpected self-shaming campaign because you think another mom is doing
everything so much better than you are, or another couple looks so much
happier.

Give yourself a break. Remember that social media is a
highlight reel for many people, and you’re only seeing one side of the story.
Focus on your marriage, your children, and your family.
Life does not have to look like every Pinterest meal you see, and your kids do
not have to win every award the neighbor’s’ kid won. Love your family the way
God calls you to love your family–not the way Instagram tells you to love your
family.

No one is looking to you for perfection. Your husband
loves you for who you are, not what you do. Your children need your
love, affection, and guidance, and they’ll be okay if they don’t have a
sandwich cut in the shape of a heart. You’re a good wife and a good mom. Just
take a deep breath…and maybe grab a cup of coffee!