By Laura Guida, PREPARE/Enrich Blog,December 30, 2020
Longing for self-improvement or achievement is an all too familiar feeling we seem to get around this time of year. We look forward to what’s to come and think that something magical will happen on January 1 to boost us up with energy to hit new milestones. These goals we set for ourselves can be sourced from all aspects of life. We want to eat healthier and exercise more. We want to be more present with our families and less connected to our smart phones. We want to achieve more at work and secure that promotion. It’s natural to want to get better and the marking of a new year feels like a natural time to set those goals.
However, we’ve also all likely felt the devastation of realizing we made nearly zero progress towards a goal once we’re about six or so weeks into the new year. The novelty of a new routine has worn off or the challenge of trying something different has just become really hard, so we cut ourselves some slack on the goal. We lower what we’re reaching for, push out the timeline we set, or we just give up entirely.
Why is this? You start to wonder. I’m capable, I have the desire, why do I stall out when the work to get there feels mundane or difficult?
There are a ton of reasons why achieving our goals is hard, but there are a couple in particular that have to do with our spouse. We’d like to think our spouse is our number one supporter, and in many cases that is true. It’s just that things get in the way of allowing them to help you reach your goals, and vice versa. Here’s why:
When it comes to your personal goals, you may be thinking, well they are personal, why do I even need to involve my partner? It’s a valid question. But why wouldn’t you want all of the support and encouragement you could get? If your goal is conflicting with their goal, that’s going to get you both nowhere fast, so it seems silly to even try to reach it at that point.
By not letting your partner in on your goals, you’re missing an opportunity for both of you to grow closer and work together. There’s a quote from Betty Ford that captures this thought well, “You can make it, but it’s easier if you don’t have to do it alone.”
So yes, make those personal goals for 2021, but just because they are personal, don’t forget to utilize your spouse as your co-pilot while navigating to your destination.